a New day passes so quickly

Hi...Blog....
though you've never been read by others... you are still in my heart. I have found a new silver lining on my days. Here and there i dont really know. Today i got up little late. Just like usual i stayed up to watch HBO.

I was woken by my boy friend who is far from me. He told me to be online this evening. I love that guy, who is really patient. Then i have to follow his way to be patient.....

To live on earth is doing the best effort you can take to face everything that may happen. it is not always about winning something in a high glory. Just devote yourself to something good and nice. Then you know that is way you were born....

Ok....
have a nice day and night

The art of being patient

Hi...day, how are you today?
Are you still boring for me?
I wishh you say a big NO!!!
Then i just wanna share something i call a funny-funny sad day...?
remember when i told you that when you get yourself down in the deepest sorrow, it's better for you to breathe in, exhale and just smile.

I just woke up erlier today and i got myself crazy of preparing the best day i wished this morning. :< Finally i went to campuss to find some good news dealing with my study!! but you know!!! They just sent here and there 'predicting' that my problem will be done so soon. I would have asked them to say another words besides "come tomorrow" my best prayer was hoping they would finally say "Ok, wait a momment i'll get it for yu right away" but instead, they just sent me to another...afficer...and the "another officer" sent me away to "the other Another officer" who finally said "come back at 3, meet me in the building standing next to this building in the room number 35"

i was trying to refuse my anger, happily i did allthe best i found the room number 35...i went back to my hostel...and...wait for 3 pm. Oh my god!!! i was happy tht finally th clock said so!!! and i went there directly to the room number 35...and i found the officer on phone and the other another other officer who was sitting down there said...i should wait for another undefined time to get my problem done...WHHHHHOOOOAAAAAA!!!!! World....!!! im still trying to control myself though it's hard to do.......

ok....i'm waiting...but never ever let me no nothing about the study and the classroom...i swear i 'll be angry.....!!!!to God....fiuh....God...pleasegive me a good way to do all the things here....You Know that i am such an On time girl!!!!
thanks!!!!

Leaving in the sense of glory

This life is wonderful for me. Living in this kind of mess but still nice to enjoy. I sometimes can't receive who i really am. In another time i really love my life. In a matter of fact life should have some parts. They are happiness, sadness, hatred, grumble, regret, and so..on. If somebody could find the real meaning of glory, there would be another art in life we call happy ever after. we should not fight to find a glory. Glory here is that you can defeat your anger, your selfish ways, your loneliness, and your bad features. Everybody should be able to step on every part that God made for him. Life should be shiny when you are down. master yourself. Control..your spirit to find the brighter day. All we have to do here is..praying...and try our best, dont stop reading...who knows you can turn your luck there on something that you read....God..thank you to give me this life....I love you

It's a state of bliss inside my feeling!!!

I love this day, I get much experience. I experience evrything that is good, between friends. friendship can be a thing that is not too holy but then it will also show something that is far from being good too. What i get now is the sweetest thing i calll "together-ness". Everybody will come to see a new step in their lives. We have to guide ourselves to be more mature!!!!

Another thing we got after we lost

Today i dont think of my papa anymore, yeah sometimes i can miss him again but then..i shouldnt be a kid to win him back from the place he should live an afterlife. Suddenly i understand that papa has nothing to burden. Now papa is free from all the things on earth, His place is now greater and nicer. Papa has something to do with God, maybe he is now discussing all the things he would ask or something that is much more nicer that he can discuss only with God. Papa be nice there...Papa we love you....dont worry about us..papa...you have got great sons -in-law; Mas Buddi and Mas Sigit, Papa...smile...papa...i love you more than i can say...papa...let me continue your dream, papa i will merry him and wish me luck with all the life i will pass. Thanks to be you papa. I should do these:
1. Positive thingking: You taught me how we should receive and accept something that happens from its positive parts only.
2. There is no winner and loser among sisters: we should learn each other's characteristic. We have to love each other. That' s what we call great love.
3. A wife should carry honor to her husband. Our prophet muhammad taught us (women/wives) to respect our husbands. Then, we will get a great love from our spouses.
4. Life through what Muhammad the prophet suggested and what Allah SWT commands and forbids.
5. Life is not a pice of cake that we have to struggle to do our best to live in this beautiful earth to get throgh the better life in an afterlife.

Love you Papa....
Mmmmmmuuuaaach..

One day with No papa

Hi...
Today i woke up and relalised that there will be no papa picking me up from the airport when i arrive three years later. I knew i should start the day with no cry. I had told myself once before i went to bed. I could smile this morning, i opened my father's pics; I saw him facing me. That is all what i get after 24 years living with him. If only i could turn back time, i would like to stay in my fathers arms in every minute, and breath he had. I would never regret everything i got and passed with my father. NO!!! there will never be a reason to do that.

My father said that i was a sensitive girl, i know!!! I dont wanna have this whinning eyes!!! I should be strong like yo. As long as i live well in the right track!!! i will have no problem. Then, The words came this evening...i felt like i got much happiness today, sometimes i lost my sense that i should mourn. Papa now i remember that i should realise that you are gone already. I dont deserve to be happy this time.

I dont to laugh anymore.... you are now stay in my heart. I cry only to God. I just ask to HIM to make me feel OK and strong....Amien

Saying goodbye to my dear father

Daddy, i know i still far from good...but atleast i always try my best to love you...and i know you love me too. Dear daddy there's no other...smile i see directly from you....all i got is my beautiful memmory of you here in my heart, my mind and in my face. When i close my eyes i will directly remember your smiles, when i open my eyes and think of you...directly you will appear in my thought..in every way you are...and when i see my reflection in a mirror i willl directly remember your face, because iam yours...papa i love you....now you have got a certificate to continue your long lasting life that is an afterlife....daddy....i dont mean to darken your way...i just wanna say i love you...papa be our strengths...papa..be our supports...papa i love you...i know you know that...i am luck to have father like you..im proud of you....proud to your daughter...wait for me papa sooner or later...im gonna be there too..but..now im trying to be better first...that i can go there in you place nicely like you....amien....

The real meaning of being far from home

I just realised that i am far from home. This world is so wide and im so amazed that i finally come to very different city which has never shown up in my thought before. I stay in a university guest house. Share the room with three other girls. This is really the first time for me, and i believe for them too. All i can do is pray that tomorrow will be better than today. You know...i have to spend three years here in this very strange city. I could never say NO to something that is free of charge. Isn't it good??? everybody would say the same "yes". I love a new life, i dont wanna be so crazy with everything which is so strange. We have to learn everything. I have to relieve myself from a hoax!!! that's never been laughed....i have to enjoy..the time of being here. God...save me...from every negative thingking that i may creat it nby myself.

When you are apart from you used to be, it is the step in your life to be more mature. There is nothin to do with bad day. You will feel a new brand of yourself. Guys!!! i know we are far from home, then God will see how easy you get an easy way to pass all the suffers. There is nothing to do with cry!!! No!!! all yo have to do is to know who yoor friends are....get a long with all respect and all that coming infront of you...dont be down with all obstacles...they are just O B S T A C L E... see!!! those are only letters...just laugh at them when you feel hard and heavy...Go and catch your dream...hold in your arms...focus and be the best....!!! good luck!!!

The first week in Hyderabad India

Selamat datang di blog ku....
09 juli 2009
Hari itu hari kamis aku berlarian mengejar waktu untuk berpamitan kepada ortuku. My papa sedang sakit kan? pasti! kemarin, hari itu, dan sampai hari ini saat aku menulis ini pun aku yakin My papa masih tergole lemah di RSUD. DR. Soetomo surabaya. My mama memintaku untuk berpamitan padanya hari kamis itu. Padahal kalu boleh memilih pastilah aku memilih untuk berpamitan di hari yang paling akhir, sehingga kau masih bisa memandangi wajahnya. Tapi tidak!! my mama sayang menyayangiku. Dia rela kita berpisah sehari sebelum hari sebenarnya. My mama menginginkan keselamatanku. ...

Pagi itu aku memacu adrenalinku mengejar waktu bersama seorang laki- laki yang telah kusebut tunanganku. Di atas roda dua itu kami mencari money changer. Duuh...peluhku dan peluhnya ercampur, mengucur menjadi satu. Tiba- tiba waktu menjadi begitu mengerikan bagikku. Terngiang di telinga ini. My mama bilang "hari kamis besok sebelum dhuhur! kamu harus pamitan, kalu nggak...hari kan sudah berpindah menjadi hari jumat yang sangat buruk bagi hari kelahiranmu untuk bepergian". nggak ada alasan bagiku menolaknya. My mama pasti mencintaiku, untuk itu dia menyarankan hal yang sedikit berat masuk angan ku.

Rupee begitu sulit dicri di surabaya. Akhirnya kami putuskan untuk membeli dollar. Hanya dengan 3oo ribu aku membeli dollar, jauh...sangat jauh sekali dri yang di harusnkan oleh advisorku. Setidaknya untuk bertahan hidup di india bagi pemula bagiku di butuhkan 300 dollar. Uang dari mana itu??? Kami telah sangat sengasara akhir- akhir ini. persoalan uang bisa menjdai masalah yang sangat sensitive di mata my mama. Betapa kecewa dan shocked nya dia kalu tahu bahwa, aku tidak punya uang sepeserpun untuk pergi. Bonek mania!!! aku meliahat para bonek itu bertahan. Mereka pasti sudah telalu hebat kalau citra tukang ngamuknya nggak keburu merajalela di masyarakat.

Tapi apalagi yang kupunya selain nekat. Aku sudah resign dari perusahaan tempat aku bekerja seminggu sebelum hari itu. Kalu aku tidak jadi pergi...Apa kata dunia dan akhirat!!! Dengan bersimbah peluh yang luar biasa aku dan tunanganku engejar waktu. Aj di lad 5 menit sebelum adzan duhur waktu itu aku sampai di hadapan seorang my mama. aku serahkan seluruh jiwaku ini untuk di peluknya. Untuk kemudian di "langakahi"- javanese term. Kucium kaki my papa yang masih tergolek leas karena kanker. Intinya mereka merestui jalanku.

Beraaat!! beraaat rasanya!!! meninggalkan mereka yang sudah tua dan ringkih. Tapi mungkin ini sudah menjadi jalan terbaikku. Beban ini akan ku rubah menjadi harapan untuk ku wujudkan. malam itu aku tinggal di rumah calon mertuaku. Aku tidur di samping tunanganku. BLass!! nggak ada yang spesial. Kepergianku ini nggak ada yang menangisi. Dan itu yang membuatku jadi ringan melangkah.

10 juli 2009
pagi itu aku menjadi agak uring- uringan, sengaja aku bermanja ma tunanganku. Aku nggak mau makan kalu nggak di suapin. Aku berangkat ke bandara bersama keluarga tunanganku. Berdelapan di taksi. Mengejar waktu boarding. Lagi- lagi tiada tangis dan kesedian aku liahat di raut mereka. Ihklas. Satu kata menharukan yang aku temukan di sela- sela au menunggu penerbangan pertamaku. Aku benar-benar merasa sendirian di ruang tunggu penerbagan di bandara juanda itu.
jam 12.25...
Air Asia AK553 di panggil...nomor penerbanganku. Kuharap aku akan senang dengan pengalaman pertama ini. Yupp welcome on board...!!! finally aku merasakan terbang. Aku akan turun di Kuala lumpur untuk selanjutnya meneruskan penerbangan dengan malaysia airlines. LCCT itu adalh namabandara yang akan menerima kedatanganku di KL. beasr sekali. Dan akumasih meras sendirian. Aku hanya mengikuti jejak langkah orang2 yang aku juga tidak pernah kenal. etika aku akan mengklain bagasiku, aku tertolak oleh birokrasi. Aku belum punya real ticket untuk ke hyderabad.

Panic,,,,!!! itu memang sifatku. tapi sebisanya aku bersusaha tenang dan mngambil napas sedalam yang aku bisa. Aku ikuti semua perintah officer di depanku. Dan...hasilnya...!!! Aku harus pindah ke KLIA untuk menemukan penerbanganku selanjutnya. OH GEE!!! sendirian nggak tau arah dan ternyata bandara di KL sendiri ada dua??? deangan baik dan manisnya officer imigration yang namanya sharifudin menuliskan nama bandara itu dan apa yang aku harus lakukan untuk kesana. yaitu aku harus mebeli beberapa ringgit untuk naik aerobus ke terminal MTB-KLIA. Dan aku sampai di KLIA.

Sebuah bandara yang sangat besar dan serba modern. Aku mengambil boarding passku dan pergi ke gate tempat dimana aku aku masuk pesawat selama itu pula aku telah lupa rumah. 5 jam di KLIA. Aku berjumpa dengan teman dari jawa, satu penerbangan denganku dan tujuanya pun sama denganku HYDERABAD, THE ENGLISH AND FOREIGN LANGUAGES UNIVERSITY, ICCR scholar.

Kami sama- sama bernapas lega. Malam itu kami menaiki airbus A330. sebuah pesawat yang besar yang akan mengantar kami ke hyderabad dalam 4 jam 10 menit. FIuh...selmat sampai tujuan lebih awal 10 menit dari jadwal yang di tentukan. Kami tiba pukul 11.45 waktu india.

Senin, 13 juli 2009
Kami berlima akhirnya di temani seorang senior pergi mengwali birokrasi untuk mengambil living allowance di ICCR office. Menaiki bajaj , melihat kota hyderabad, berkenalan dengan kemacetan dan bau karee, membiasakan diri meliahat saree, pengemudi sepada motor tanpa helmet..Ukhhh....FUN!!!
Kami menikmati process ini, panjang dan melelahkan.
Sampai hari ini aku maih belum dapat living allowance itu. Kami akan mengawali perjuangan kami lagi esok hari. Kami akan pergi ke ICCR office untuk mennjukkan semua document itu dan hopefuly kita berhasil.

finally ihope this writing could be a small reference and maybe a joke for us all. Dont stop reading, dont be afraid of a long process, thus we should enjoy and learn. We live for our future that we have t stand on our feet,To paint our brighter future.

Regards,
a girl called Fitria
is expecting something smooth in her process at ICCR tomorrow

see yaaa....